Many people have noticed my interest / obsession in matters toilet. It has been suggested I should use a geriatric incontinence pad – but I thought that may possibly reduce my beloved’s sexual desire…. Carol McD suggested I check out the Female Urination Device or FUD, so I have. A FUD is basically a silicon funnel to enable women to stand up and pee (without splashing their feet). I am now the semi-proud user of a khaki coloured FUD, which does enable me to pee standing up while wearing knickers and shorts (although not trousers) .
I have confessed to considerable penis envy for peeing convenience, but that is envy of at least a reasonable sized adult one. The FUD is endowed with a nozzle similar to a 10 year old boys penis. Now, who, ever (with the exception of a 10 year old boy) would ever covet such a penis. I can’t understand why you’d design such a great device, and not endow it with a bloody great flexible dong? Surely if we need a fake penis, we should at least get the pleasure of a BIG one! The FUD penis is still severely limiting for aiming other than a demure stream a few inches from your toes. But – better than a cold wet arse!
FUDu = Female Urination Device user
Rees Campbell 
Nice looking 10 year old penis. Maybe there is a market for something a bit bigger!
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Just reread your first sentence of this blog…has having a 10 year old’s penis increased Col’s desires? At least he won’t feel threatened!
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I hope you re re read the first line. There is a full stop before your name:)
I reckon it would take an awful lot to threaten Col, in penis’ or otherwise!
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🙂 they are also called she wee’s. When I was in Vietnam I was waiting to use a toilet and this British girl was in front, used her she wee and then proceeded to rinse it in the wash basin, I was nearly spewing :-)I agree perhaps a more flexible length would be better 🙂
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I’m in awe!
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Is that as in awe-some, or awe-ful ?
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a neat combination of both I suspect.
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My little black bitch (Ken-Pewter) sent me to a PORN site where I saw a queer picture that some one has stuck your personalised head on top of some AWFUL person’s body sporting what looks like a small sex toy thingo.
I pray that this perverted pitcher doesn’t end up contaminating your pure green website.A ten year old pork sausage or replica could be deflamatory and threatening to the small minded vegetarian during our current climate.A friend suggested I may contact Big-pond to have the thingo painted the same colour as your boat.A Camel flanged flap like a green flounder could be a temporary cover up. Like a one eyed tigersnake…..
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Dear Aunty Ken, what do I do when weirdos write weird things on my web site?
You are hilarious, I’d piss myself if I didn’t have a fud!
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Hi guys, you can’t seem to buy a trick at the mo…better to be safe than sorry I guess. FUD, now I’ve actually had some experience with these, believe it or not! Many yrs ago, we used to knock around on a little wooden boat (the Peghara) on the Rubicon. Girlfriends (and drunk mates) found it difficult to pee over the side. Solution? We mounted a LARGE elongated oval black funnel, the type with the removable kinked tube, to the handrail. A decent sized target, tho privacy was an issue for the shy!! Alternately how about a 20l bucket with one of those toilet seats from a camping store? But that’s another story, with high seas and a little too much throttle
…hope things are getting better. Cheers.
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Thanks for the ideas Kirk, but I think I’m getting the hang (ha ha)of the FUD, so shall persevere. I remember how inaccurate (10yo) boys can be…..
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